The Kids Are All Right

I wanted to be sure to review this film before it slipped from my fresh memory. This indie-film about a lesbian family whose children start communicating with their sperm donor is definitely worth seeing.

Number one, I think it is very important that this film, The Kids are All Right, is directed and co-written by a woman, Lisa Cholodenko. It establishes the gaze as not necessarily feminist, but it definitely the gaze upon women and lesbians.

The film looks at a nuclear family, Nic + Juls and their two children, Joni and Laser. While some might criticize the film for being too White, I think the film actually provides a critique of a White, suburban family and a commentary on homonormativity, the notion that gay people can also live normative or dominant lifestyles. Their daughter even comments that she got good grades just to affirm this perfect, lesbian family, to prove that lesbians can parent just as well as straight parents. Everything about this family seems normal, from prodding children to write thank-you cards to slamming doors to rapport between partners. And then comes Mark Ruffalo, their sperm donor. His presence disrupts the energy of the film, first in an exciting way, but then in more of a chaotic mess.

A really interesting moment was when Nic and Juls, wanting to have fun while being intimate, start watching a gay male pornographic film. It is a fascinating scenario that alludes to the complexities of queerness and of human sexuality in general. That moment is later tainted, for me at least, by the fact that Juls ends up sleeping with Paul, Mark Ruffalo's character, and is so happy by what she sees when she pulls down his pants that the audience burst into laughter and applause. This implies, perhaps, that Juls always wanted/needed sexual contact with a male, which disappoints me. Also, why did the audience applaud a moment of infidelity and unprofessionalism? AfterEllen's Sugarbutch discusses this: http://www.afterellen.com/movies/2010/sugarbutch-says-the-kids-are-all-right

But on the whole, I really enjoyed the movie. It had a fabulous hipster soundtrack, it was incredibly acted, and Juls' revelation that sometimes when you are in a relationship with someone for so long you fail to see them, but rather projections of yourself and your issues on them, really gave me goosebumps. I highly recommend the film.

The NYTimes wrote a glowing review of the film: http://movies.nytimes.com/2010/07/09/movies/09kids.html?pagewanted=1